tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16925391507401875562012-02-16T17:57:58.096-05:00Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.comBlogger1611100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-56996517297809355542009-10-27T19:23:00.002-04:002009-10-28T10:07:15.415-04:00

   I think I got into blogging about two years ago. But I've been bitching about my life for a lot longer than that. I was pushed into blogging by friends. Friends who, I can only surmise, were anxious for me to stop laying all my shit at their front doors. It seemed innocuous enough. Blogging. It seemed like a nice place to work out frustration... to work out my neuroses and also my technical

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-36289518627446863522009-07-05T01:47:00.001-04:002009-07-05T01:47:16.021-04:00

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-27042710480388347542008-11-24T00:55:00.001-05:002008-12-02T18:02:15.853-05:00

As I sat at my keyboard, desperately searching for a topic to write about but finding only trite aphorisms and hollow observances, it struck me. It finally struck me, I should say. The answer I have been searching for my entire life. The answer to a question not yet asked, never posited nor even contemplated. A question of self. A question of simultaneous grand importance and of gross

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-19621373006939349242008-10-11T19:40:00.000-04:002008-10-11T20:14:51.934-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, you have just born witness to what I would classify as a microcosm of every relationship I've ever had in my entire life. It followed the same trajectory and had the same ending. First, there's the initial acquainting of the parties. Its usually quite cordial. I make you laugh, you make me laugh, we share stories about ourselves and eventually we become trusting enough to

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-77797775436079402008-08-18T22:43:00.001-04:002008-08-19T17:38:30.238-04:00

So I was writing this post tonight about the Olympics and I got really into it. Really into it. And it got ugly. I spent quite a few paragraphs on the Chinese manipulation of the judging, and their blatant prejudice against Canadians. But honeslty, who doesn't hate Canada? OOOH! We have an extraordinarily low crime rate. Oh, we have such a beautiful country. Everyone here has easily accesible

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-30589827104682653862008-08-18T07:27:00.000-04:002008-08-18T07:30:20.019-04:00

I promise a post by the end of business today. And not a crappy one either, one where I just bitch and moan (a lot) more than I usually do. No, no, no. I promise a good one. Maybe.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-89282872664269901452008-08-14T18:04:00.001-04:002008-08-14T18:54:19.388-04:00

I've been talking myself out of blogging a lot. I have literally 7's of posts started but ultimately left unpublished. I keep a notebook with me all day, and I write down any brilliant ideas that pass through my mind. But honestly, those are few and far between. Mostly my mind conjures up idiotic nuggets like these: What's the deal with this guy being such a douchebag? Why do we need pennies?

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-20147658128169955422008-08-13T12:35:00.000-04:002008-08-13T13:13:00.934-04:00

So this idiot at work has spent the last three months trying to prove to me that he has a broader base of knowledge when it pertains to music than I do. I have to laugh at this guy. Everyday is a an episode of Name that Tune. It's rather bothersome. I'm just trying to make it through the day, and this guy is relentless. What band did the song "Hello Skinny"? How the fuck should I know? Oh, 

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-29540812023438038412008-08-03T22:58:00.000-04:002008-08-03T23:46:37.800-04:00

I've been confined to a bed for most of the past thirty hours. I don't have the flu. I didn't break an ankle. There wasn't an ALF marathon on TV Land, though I wish there were. I just loved ALF. I had an Alf sleeping bag for years and years and years. Until it finally wore out from too much use. Now I suppose I'll have to find a new sleeping bag. No, this thirty hour binge of chain smoking and

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-37827180714537029542008-08-01T07:13:00.000-04:002008-08-01T07:18:52.321-04:00

So, yesterday at work, I had an interesting conversation with my boss. This is the man who would only consider hiring me if and when I passed a drug screening. And I did, because I have been (officially) clean for six months now. Well, my boss (who shall remain nameless) offerred me an intriguing proposition. He asked me, straight up, if I wanted to buy some hash. That's... not really helping

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-56191760886631547242008-07-29T20:27:00.000-04:002008-07-29T20:32:37.273-04:00

How long is too long to go without speaking to someone you would refer to as a friend? As far as I'm concerned, it's never too long. Sometimes people drift out of your life and there is no good explanation for it. But I would welcome them back in a heartbeat when they finally did decide to return. Apparently, some people don't feel the same way.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-76359726624891417482008-07-25T20:16:00.000-04:002008-07-25T21:37:01.003-04:00

Three words. That's all it takes to derail me. "Mike's in jail." And who would deliver this solemn and all too serious message? Well obviously, it wasn't Mike. It was Matthew. His (for all intents and purposes) stepson. Which would be cool. If he wasn't 7. It started as an innocent call to check in on my n'er-do-well brother in Florida. He and I had a less than amicable split both

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-58965494638890109992008-07-24T23:28:00.000-04:002008-07-24T23:32:09.747-04:00

Well, sort of. I promise to be a better blogger. By Friday the weekend I'll have a post up. And a good one too. Not one of these, "Oh, I've been away, I better throw a post up to appease the masses." kind of posts. A real one. With jokes. And poignancy. And philosophy. And maybe even a little foul language. Who the fuck knows?

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-88453582555710143442008-06-22T21:47:00.002-04:002008-06-22T22:09:50.619-04:00

Big week here in Adam-land. My twin sister, Amanda, is due to "give birth" this week by Thursday at the latest. I say "give birth" because she's probably going to be induced. This kid just does not want to leave the friendly confines of her womb.I can't really blame him. Stay as long as you want, fella.This makes six legitimate nieces and nephews under my control. I am psyched. The oldest ones

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-20564691070490411082008-06-06T17:30:00.003-04:002008-06-07T00:11:17.098-04:00

I was strolling through the park one day, and it turns out, I missed the entire month of May. I did however avoid being taken by surprise by a pair of roguish eyes...So I got that going for me. Which is nice.Just decided to pop in and say hello. Hello. I do have a few things to say, but nothing of any importance. First, when and if you are ever unemployed, please, for the love of all things holy,

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-29567208870078914732008-05-26T11:10:00.001-04:002008-05-26T11:12:37.641-04:00

Green Fields of France by The Dropkick Murphys

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-34720749876109870142008-05-14T20:22:00.002-04:002008-05-14T20:45:14.239-04:00

I don't want to write this. I want to go to bed. I want to lie down and never wake up again. I want to be as insignificant as I used to be. I want to be alone and depressed... that is when I'm truly happy, ironically enough. I am already tired of being a peon.. on the bottom rung again.I busted my ass for 7 years to get a little respect, and my dirt bag junkie brother goes and throws it down the

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-82446232204914410872008-05-14T19:07:00.002-04:002008-05-14T19:12:54.881-04:00

I wish I could just crawl into bed and die already.I've been fucking up...Big time.And there's no one else to blame this time.The fucking onus is on me.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-86305551156063265222008-05-11T08:00:00.000-04:002008-05-11T08:00:01.271-04:00

For all you moms out there, I dedicate this... to you.Those of you with teenagers totally get this. All of you with toddlers- well, you'll figure it out.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-23223067322559401432008-05-04T23:55:00.000-04:002008-05-05T00:29:52.587-04:00

It is not midnight yet. This is technically a multi post day. I'm not a total liar. Truth is, I'm not really sure what to say. There's a lot happening. I think... I need a few weeks away. I need to reprogram. Stop thinking about it and just stay away from the Internet.But I will be back. Probably with an overhaul of the site. I've had a few ideas as to the direction of this blog, which was

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-66560064028796942092008-05-04T12:16:00.002-04:002008-05-04T12:47:26.799-04:00

The Prodigal Blogger returns.And this feels like a multi post day. Yes, it certainly does.I've been neglectful of you, blogosphere. I've been far too tied up in my own wheelings and dealings to worry about you, and your millions of bloggers. I mean, what will the internet do without me there to comment on the inanities and absurdities of everyday life? I fear trouble afoot.So I must put a post on

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-23753807464459219902008-05-01T18:32:00.002-04:002008-05-01T19:02:18.730-04:00

Hey hey hey! (He said doing his best Dwayne from What's Happening? impression)The Flowbots- HandlebarsThe rumors of my demise were only mildly exaggerated.I am, in fact, still alive and well.But I'm tired.And I'm muse-less.I've lost my muse, is what I'm saying.I have spent so much time worrying about work,And trying to get my life back together,I've unfortunately had to jettison some really fun

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-5087481732714888842008-04-30T00:56:00.002-04:002008-04-30T01:31:18.042-04:00

Hola amigos! You know what sucks most about work?Working.No, it's actually having little to no internet access. I'm back to working, and it is as crap-tastic as I remember it being. I'm not going to say what company I am working for, except for the fact that it is a national chain, it sells auto parts, and it rhymes with Barquest. But I'm not going to tell you any more.The one thing that is good

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-76290928747757538682008-04-29T07:14:00.001-04:002008-04-29T07:16:30.430-04:00

Please excuse the interruption. We will return you to your regularly scheduled programming on Wednesday. Or Thursday. Whichever comes first.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-56224545948447646192008-04-28T06:50:00.000-04:002008-04-28T06:50:00.578-04:00

And whattaya get?Officially back to work this morning.This time I swear that it's true.A minute by minute rundown of my first day is in the works.Fortunately for you, that was a joke.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-5684864348229858452008-04-27T20:22:00.002-04:002008-04-27T20:24:56.075-04:00

Or is it on the wagon? I've never been quite clear on the subject.I'm such a tard-is. Wah-wah.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-10204494240211315272008-04-27T16:09:00.003-04:002008-04-27T20:22:27.279-04:00

It was on a dark and stormy afternoon, on the twenty seventh of April, in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty one, at 4:09 PM that a young man was born who would single-handedly change the face of the universe as we know it. He is still trying to figure out how to go about that. So instead, he has compiled a list of the shittiest things that go along with getting older.And

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-45298345549749426802008-04-26T08:00:00.001-04:002008-04-26T08:21:47.861-04:00

The most distressing thing about coaching a baseball team with 5 girls on it? Looking out at them in the field and seeing five of these:Pink baseball gloves? That's worse than almost anything I could imagine.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-51582416328074637302008-04-26T00:15:00.000-04:002008-04-26T00:15:06.500-04:00

It's hot.And when it gets hot,I like to have some room to "breathe".The one tremendous disadvantage of having a dog,Aside from the astronomical food bill, stains on the carpet,And their insidious need for affection,Is the lack of nudie time.You heard me.Anyone who owns, or has owned,Or has slept with someone who owned a dog,Knows that they are voraciously curious about our bodies.And that

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-53073680593466531652008-04-25T17:00:00.000-04:002008-04-25T17:00:00.127-04:00

It's that time again. And I am truly in love. It's not like the other times. This is real. I am head over heels in love. And nobody can dissuade me from feeling as such. This week's love of my life comes from the television show LOST. I am a freak for this show. Since the first episode, I have been hooked. I belong to a community of fellow freaks who worship the show the same as I. I never

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-90719363277962847812008-04-25T10:35:00.003-04:002008-04-25T11:17:02.171-04:00

Much to the chagrin of parents all over my small town, I have been installed as the dark overlord and all seeing despot who is currently reigning over their unwitting children. Translation: I am coaching T-ball.T-ball is baseball for little kids. You put the baseball on a big rubber tee, and they hit it and run, and hilarity ensues. If you have never seen 6 year olds play baseball, it is really a

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-34909045067508256352008-04-24T08:59:00.002-04:002008-04-24T09:25:58.521-04:00

Wilkommen! Floyd here. I'm doing Adam a favor and writing a few posts for him, because everyone loves me, and I know that you just tolerate Adam. But to hear him tell it, he's under the impression that he's the brains behind our little operation, and I'm just window dressing. Very sexy window dressing, but window dressing nonetheless. But I'm sure you guys are smart enough to know who the real

Floydnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-81301324357694516272008-04-23T12:00:00.000-04:002008-04-23T12:00:01.664-04:00

I've been seriously considering getting a tattoo recently. I've never really understood tattoos. Why would you willingly desecrate your own body? And they are usually impulsive choices people get. Why would a grown man want a tattoo of Toucan Sam riding a motorcycle?But I've thought about it. I think I might be one of those people who could get a tattoo. Not anything stupid. No cartoon characters

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-1197188151210507062008-04-22T12:30:00.002-04:002008-04-22T12:32:49.896-04:00

Still getting used to this new Blogger edition. I may have posted something I had meant to post later in the week. If you read it, then consider yourself ahead of the game. If not, well, wait until Thursday and you will have your chance.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-59882917090627005672008-04-22T09:13:00.002-04:002008-04-22T09:41:24.882-04:00

Well, thanks to Paul Revere*,I am not working today.I was fully expecting to be at work this morning.But I'm not.Instead, I'm watering my lawn,And clearing more brush,And stockpiling generic blog posts,For when I don't feel like writing when I am working.But Paul Revere decided that yesterday(Well, not yesterday yesterday)Would be a good day to start the American Revolution.Well, he didn't start

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-60024513293168927662008-04-20T12:15:00.002-04:002008-04-20T12:22:21.930-04:00

I had my nieces, Kaileen and Arianna,Over for breakfast this morning.Our conversation turned,As it invariably does,To existentialism.Kaileen, age 6 (Almost 7),Made some random comment about somebody being dead.I made the remark that everybody is dead in some way.I, for instance,Am dead inside, I told her.She, who is far too quick for her age,Responded by saying,"I'm not dead inside."Ari, age 4,

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-85703884699120438052008-04-19T23:00:00.001-04:002008-04-20T00:51:56.432-04:00

I'm old. Not so much chronologically, but apparently, to teenagers, I'm old. That sucks. I never wanted to get old. I tried my best to avoid it. And I thought I was winning the war until today.It all started because I forgot to go play basketball this morning. I try to play every Saturday. I try. But today I was busy. Busy with 1) sleeping until 10 AM, which is nice, and something I won't be able

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-72879600190429674682008-04-19T11:04:00.003-04:002008-04-19T11:34:40.426-04:00

Tunes running through my head today.DaydreamA pie in the face for being a sleepy bull toad.Shangri LaAcute Paranoia Schizophrenia BluesAnd unfortunately, this:

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-70416160800826633352008-04-18T17:01:00.002-04:002008-04-18T17:19:53.394-04:00

Hello boys and girls.I'm here today to offer you a few helpful tips,From my kitchen to yours.Tip Number OneNever, no matter how tempting it seems,Never ever EVERFry ground beef without a shirt on.Now, I know the ladies out there are saying,"But Adam, I always fry meat shirtless!"To that I say,That's hot.But it's also very dangerous.VERY VERY DANGEROUS!Unless you would like your stomach, andAhem,

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-55087031155048651092008-04-18T09:30:00.003-04:002008-04-18T16:26:51.589-04:00

To pee, or not to pee;That is the question.I'm going with the former and not the latter. I really need that job._____________________________________________UPDATE at 4:30 PM EDTVini, Vidi, Urini.I came, I saw, I peed in a cup. VICTORY IS MINE!

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-40855742364574770852008-04-17T15:54:00.004-04:002008-04-17T22:51:37.294-04:00

Good news and bad news kiddies.Good news:I am now,Pending the result of a drug screen tomorrow,Gainfully employed.This is good news as it allows me to actually earn money,Instead of mooching off of family and friends.Bad news, it's going to seriously cut into my blogging time.So I will most likely be posting less often.Maybe 4 times a week.But this job is one where I have to drive around a lot,So

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-27113496919041813432008-04-16T01:04:00.002-04:002008-04-16T01:09:35.515-04:00

Is common courtesy dead? Has the teat that supplies the milk of human kindness been suckled dry by the chapped lips of human misery (How's that for a metaphor?!?)? Is there no chivalry left in America? Can I write this whole post in generalized rhetorical questions?Probably not. In all cases.To my point, though, as I know you have been wondering whether there is one: Are there any friendly people

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-74905064553183683232008-04-14T21:00:00.001-04:002008-04-14T21:11:35.606-04:00

Hiya all! "Celebrity" crush time again. And this week, it is someone so cute, so, as the title suggests, a-goddamn-dorable, I just couldn't ignore them any longer. I have known this person for most of my life. It's not a real celebrity, but in my own little delusion-based reality, they are the most famous person in the world. Who is it? Well, it's the person I love more than anyone else in

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-63887109277095558322008-04-14T14:48:00.004-04:002008-04-14T15:45:38.119-04:00

Deplorable.Despicable.Fascinating.Hilarious.Perverted.Brilliant.Subversive.Thought provoking.These are just a few of the words I would use to describe the book I just read. Haunted By Chuck Palahniuk. Anyone not familiar with him is certainly familiar with his work. He is the author of the highly acclaimed novel turned blockbuster film, Fight Club. Anyone who read it or saw it will know

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-88661839890332077112008-04-13T15:05:00.002-04:002008-04-13T15:28:54.569-04:00

Dear FOX Broadcasting Network,My name is Adam Raymond. I am a casual viewer of your network. I enjoy maybe, oh, 30%of the crap you put on the air. I am just writing to thank you for last night.I appreciate it soooo much that you cut out the last inning of the Boston Red Sox-New York Yankees game to go to the heavily anticipated NASCAR race. I can tell you one thing, there is nothing us north

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-57484773228761932422008-04-12T13:50:00.004-04:002008-04-12T13:57:01.129-04:00

If, when I cut myself, and I then suck on the blood because, well, I like the taste, does that make me a cannibal, or even worse, a vampire? I've ruled out vampire because I just checked and, yep, I can see my reflection in the mirror. And moreover, if it does make me a cannibal, does that automatically make me a bad person? I'm in quite the little quagmire here, as you can see.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-34178770533423337792008-04-11T14:42:00.003-04:002008-04-11T15:05:49.785-04:00

Here is an excerpt from a conversation I had this afternoon with my local librarian. Let me preface this by saying that I LOVE the library. It is one of my favorite places to waste an afternoon. And it's so much cheaper than going to Barnes and Noble.OK, my conversation:Adam: Yes, I was looking through the stacks and I couldn't find a book I was looking for...Professional Librarian: Well, no

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-64437393360346791572008-04-11T11:11:00.004-04:002008-04-11T11:56:45.780-04:00

I'm trying to will the sun out by playing some of my favorite springtime music. It's not working, but it is causing an awful lot of dancing and singing around my house. I would much rather the sun come out.Pink Floyd- Biding My TimeELO- Mr. Blue SkySublime- SummertimeBob Marley- Three Little BirdsWilco- HummingbirdThe Cars- Just What I NeededCheap Trick- I Want You To Want MeYeah. All this really

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-13494876737465003402008-04-10T16:56:00.006-04:002008-04-10T18:39:44.734-04:00

To Whom It May Concern:Attention, all dog owners. I would like to express my wishes to you that you do not walk your dogs while Adam and I are walking. It is most distracting. How can I be expected to concentrate on where other dogs have defecated if I must constantly be pulling Adam from one side of the street to the other because you are there with your dog.It would be most appreciated if you

Floydnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-74221505706004878232008-04-08T17:45:00.011-04:002008-04-09T13:05:24.276-04:00

This was originally going to be a post about how great it is that New Kids On The Block are getting back together, but that changed. Maybe another day, all you NKOTB-ers. I know you are out there, just salivating over this news and my take on it.But alas, this post will not be about that. It is about the rites of spring, camaraderie, and the relationships between men.Ahh, springtime. When a young

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-86540676381458839652008-04-07T12:00:00.002-04:002008-04-07T21:39:26.103-04:00

Well, it's a new week. Which means I have had time to develop another... you guessed it! It's time for another installment of Adam's Irrational Celebrity Crush! The focus of mine eye this week is not anything you would ever expect. Yes, it is someone in Hollywood. They are the star of their very own television drama series. And strikingly gorgeous. So, I give to you my new crush:Michael C. Hall

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-10960136659461913782008-04-06T19:51:00.003-04:002008-04-06T22:41:49.311-04:00

INVESTIGATIONS OF A DOGI awoke from my nap, what I believe to be, several days later. Adam was still not home. He was surely out buying me a new toy or a fancy new collar. I had my eye on one specific one, but I'm sure he wasn't listening when I told him which one. I would just have to lovingly accept whichever terribly gauche choice he made, and live with it. Those are the sacrifices you make

Floydnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-50329808981715147912008-04-05T15:52:00.005-04:002008-04-05T22:59:18.921-04:00

Hi there. We haven't been formally introduced. If you have been reading Adam's blog, then you are familiar with me. For everyone else, my name is Floyd. I am a four year old Parson Jack Russell Terrier. I am a purebred. That matter, however, is insignificant, because at the age of 2 I was heartlessly and against my own will, neutered. It was the saddest day of my life. And I have made it my

Floydnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-13666698002833627042008-04-02T21:02:00.002-04:002008-04-02T21:08:46.646-04:00

Otherwise known as being unemployed and collecting. There is a certain cachet to being unemployed these days. The first one being, it's just sexy. All the ladies are dying to be with a guy who is widely considered to be virtually unemployable. They just are transfixed by my Velcro wallet that is, unbelievably enough, not filled with hundred dollar bills. Yes, the ladies sure do love insolvency.So

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-3987442322051675152008-04-01T22:15:00.003-04:002008-04-01T23:08:00.314-04:00

WARNING! THERE IS THE POTENTIAL FOR SOME MODERATELY OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE AND LEWD REFERENCES IN THE FOLLOWING POST. I JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW. Hello all. I've been incredibly busy today, so no real post to speak of. As you know, it's spring, and with spring comes spring cleaning. This is no small job for this guy. Also, I have been hard at work, trying to become hard at work. But apparently...

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-72312014077349127842008-03-31T19:10:00.008-04:002008-03-31T20:13:00.355-04:00

In continuing my irrational celebrity crush series, I have decided to coincide this week's crush with the return of my new second favorite television show, Battlestar Galactica. ("What's first?" Why, LOST of course. Are you even paying attention?)For those of you unfamiliar with BSG, congratulations! You are not a nerd! Please leave my site immediately. Here's a little synopsis of what Battlestar

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-79926234662847174612008-03-30T08:32:00.010-04:002008-03-31T00:46:45.857-04:00

Look, I'm not a snob. Far from it. I am a highly idiosyncratic man. So I am not unfamiliar with odd tastes. But here are a few ways to assure that I will never be your friend. Now, keep in mind, having one or two (or God help you, three) of these quirks may not wholly disqualify you from any chance at my friendship. It doesn't help, but it doesn't disqualify. But any more than three, and I will

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-4586343225995394202008-03-30T01:35:00.003-04:002008-03-30T12:49:33.834-04:00

Why am I such a moron. I've spent the better part of the last hour trying to increase my photoshop acumen. To no avail. Let's not even get into when I will actually be editing any photos, I can't even manage to import a damn picture without my whole computer crashing. Red lights flashing, alarms sounding. My computer is shouting at me, "MORON! MORON! MORON! STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-76327268427503508662008-03-29T21:23:00.012-04:002008-03-30T10:15:31.395-04:00

Am I a total donkey? OK, that was rhetorical. Thanks anyway, though. But I am a donkey. I actually turned down the opportunity to get laid tonight. And I am in dire need of it. I need a pipe cleaning like... well, some really clogged up pipes, that's for sure. This perfectly lovely lady called me and asked if I would like to join her and her friends for a night out.Knowing this group as I do, I

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-616363063460993172008-03-28T09:03:00.007-04:002008-03-29T00:11:47.120-04:00

My dearest Winter,Well hello there. I know we haven't seen much of each other in the last few weeks. I've been enjoying the sun again. Playing basketball, practicing chipping in the backyard, even doing a little yard work. But then, out of nowhere, this morning you come barging back into my life. I don't really appreciate it. You have to accept it, Spring and I are in the throes of a torrid love

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-87954905773127546632008-03-27T17:55:00.007-04:002008-03-28T12:22:49.741-04:00

Ewww. EWWWWWWW! So, to top off my incredible week of fun in the sun (read: woebegone depression), I made a tremendous discovery: I have mice. Well, A mouse, to be exact. And not the cute fuzzy kind you get at the pet store. No, no. The hulking, plague-ridden kind that like to eat ham sandwiches in one bite. At least that's what his droppings made me believe.So I did the prudent thing. What any

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-19293922400519263042008-03-27T14:46:00.003-04:002008-03-27T15:59:30.466-04:00

Things I said today that could be taken out of context."Just pee on it already!""That baby was delicious!""Get your face out of my balls, please.""A little faster. Almost! Ahhhh. And we're done. Nice work Ted.""I tasted your fish taco before, and it was disgusting.""I wish I was a Nazi." __________________________________________________And on a completely unrelated topic, but undeserving of an

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-90304940148624099122008-03-27T08:21:00.001-04:002008-03-27T08:22:44.782-04:00

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-65409286251268506872008-03-26T15:19:00.007-04:002008-03-26T16:33:03.562-04:00

I'm finding it hard to be jovial today.Yeah, it's another one of those days.I'm just so overtaken by...by...sadness.That's not the right word.I don't know the right word.I've tried to describe this before.Like here.Or here even, albeit in an entirely different manner.But even these don't touch the depths to which my mind has sunk this morning.I was awake at 3 AM last night.I had been dreaming of

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-66018472948509181512008-03-26T10:49:00.002-04:002008-03-27T15:06:54.968-04:00

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-16565389408449198692008-03-26T10:25:00.002-04:002008-03-26T10:28:34.201-04:00

Bereft,Of Inspiration.Creativity is lacking.A once exuberant mind,Now sits... idling.Insistence of consistency,While productive,Begets exponentially poorer results.____________________________________Ask again later.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-20917609659048654102008-03-25T09:55:00.003-04:002008-03-25T11:02:29.831-04:00

A variation on my not so well received Top Ten lists from a few weeks ago, here are ten things you couldn't possibly have known about me.If I could, I'd eat Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast, lunch and dinner. For a midnight snack: grapefruit. I have twin sister. On several occasions, I have been asked whether or not we are IDENTICAL! I am a pretty damn good golfer. I was Club Champion at the age of 18

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-87747570461136944602008-03-25T09:16:00.003-04:002008-03-25T09:55:19.771-04:00

New feature being debuted here. It's my irrational "celebrity" crush of the week. Each week I will spotlight a celebrity, or a non-celebrity, or the girl who works at the gas station downtown. It's really dependent upon my current mood how I'll decide to go. This week's irrational crush:CNN's Erica Hill.The beguiling redhead is currently being absolutely wasted on Anderson Cooper 360 acting as

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-24230905062631457722008-03-24T19:05:00.004-04:002008-03-24T22:16:31.874-04:00

So, it's officially been a week.One week.Una Semana.The shakes have worn off.But I am still undergoing withdrawals occasionally.However, I have gone one whole week without a cigarette.There were a few hairy moments.But, all in all,I made it.Yeah, I'd say I'm completely fucking miserable.It is not a good idea,when one is trying to affect drastic change in one's life,To try to change more than one

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-87955073330059464172008-03-23T21:17:00.003-04:002008-03-23T22:20:59.360-04:00

Here is an incomplete list of some of the things I found while cleaning my basement.Hockey stick- Whaaaa? Anyone who knows me knows I am utterly uncoordinated. So hockey was never really my sport of choice. But how did I come into possession of a stick? Good question. I was a drug abuser years ago, and also a big fan of flea markets. A dangerous combination. Copy of Ferris Bueller's Day Off... on

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-70398811995956276722008-03-23T08:44:00.005-04:002008-03-23T11:59:28.104-04:00

As much as I love chocolate bunnies, marshmallow chickens covered in sugar (whipped sugar rolled in sugar? Only in America.), and Cadbury Creme Eggs (Oh, how I love Cadbury Creme Eggs!), there is one Easter tradition I've had since I became an adult that I cherish more than any other: Watching "Jesus of Nazareth" on The History Channel.An incredible piece of filmmaking, Franco Zefferelli's magnum

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-18888520024004267382008-03-22T12:59:00.005-04:002008-03-22T21:21:08.236-04:00

A Virginia woman recently sold a Corn Flake shaped like the state of Illinois at auction for $1,350. Click on that link, and then tell me: does that corn flake look any different than any other corn flake you or I have been shoveling down our gullets for as long as we can remember? I contend that it does not. And to the demented fucktard person who purchased that Corn Flake: Have I got a deal for

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-35787978133048475162008-03-21T17:21:00.004-04:002008-03-22T09:26:49.534-04:00

OK, so I am once again pilfering another idea from someone else who is far more creative than me. But in this instance, it was suggested by the creative one themself. Don't believe me? Then visit this tremendous blog, Sarcomical, right now. Do it. I dare you.I can't believe you looked. You bastard. What do I have to do to gain your trust? OK. So, for the rules. It's really very easy.1. After

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-48543964651076522782008-03-20T14:47:00.006-04:002008-03-20T15:52:51.015-04:00

So, while executing my daily blog trawl yesterday, I read a great post on one of my favorite blogs. I’ve yet to put her in my blogroll because, well, I’ve wanted to keep her all for myself. But I suppose that is no longer possible. So visit her site and read that post here. The post was a plea to her young son, who has been going through some troubles at his school, with bullying and having

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-63822180584255147542008-03-19T16:17:00.006-04:002008-03-19T17:26:26.919-04:00

Oh my. Floyd is hysterical. He has auditioned for, and received, the role of Tzeitel in the Peterborough Player's production of Fiddler on the Roof. He has spent all week getting into character. Speaking in Yiddish, only answering to the character's name. And rather disappointing is the fact that we've been eating kishkes for supper every night. This is what I've had to deal with:You try telling

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-82516935469188984242008-03-18T14:48:00.004-04:002008-03-18T21:39:50.644-04:00

I love meeting new people. By love, I mean I enjoy fucking with them. After the pleasantries and introductions, usually the first question is "What do you do for a living?" This is a vexing question for me, as I am in between positions at the moment. So I have adapted a new way to entertain myself: inveterate lying. It's fun. Here is one recent interaction, between me and a prospective new "

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-70688294221152655512008-03-17T23:56:00.006-04:002008-03-18T15:34:24.762-04:00

Hour 1 (8 AM)OK. Quitting smoking is easy.At least those commercials make it look easy.I just put that magnet in my ear,and it's over?Done?Fantastic!Alright.Anyone who's tried knows it's not easy at all.Magnet or no.But I can handle this.I bought 10 packs of Bubblicious:Watermelon, blueberry, and mixed.That should suffice.Just in case though,I have 5 boxes of Ludens cherry cough drops.And a bag

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-9391325232023825892008-03-17T18:32:00.003-04:002008-03-21T18:03:56.944-04:00

Order is a relative term.___________________________________________________Lapses in judgementAre the hallmark of my existence.Who to trust?What to do?Where to go?Always wrong.To the point where I can no longer make a decisionWithout second guessing myself.Or second guessing my second guess.Or second guessing that!To be clear,That's four decisions.Three second guesses.I've developed an equation

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-34419805406231344892008-03-17T14:06:00.003-04:002008-03-17T14:14:36.936-04:00

"Contemplative" is not a welcome state for a madman._________________________________________________Moribund fantasies cloud my sanity. They tease and tantalize...Like a siren song beckoning the sailor towards rocky shores. My ship is sailing headfirst into the perilous waters.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-49865007955248042782008-03-17T13:55:00.002-04:002008-03-17T14:06:37.257-04:00

A sea of red rushes forward. Overrunning it's ashen, lily white constraints.Brought forth by a tremendous sorrow.Sorrow for things lost and never had.Sorrow for things done and never tried.It is brought forth by grievous anger.Anger made bitter by years of neglect.Anger compounded by madness.Anger that has been fostered into hate. Hatred for the one who fostered it.Hatred running deeper each day,

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-79738026880152935642008-03-17T07:36:00.004-04:002008-03-17T15:40:07.174-04:00

12:30 in the morning.Another night...Alone.I settle in with my notebook,in my pajamas.My very dapper pinstriped PJ's no less.Got to look good for...Floyd I guess.I don't know.Being alone has it's advantages.And it's drawbacks.Pro: I can watch Sportscenter in bed in peace.Con: But nobody hears my pithy remarks.Pro: No one to tell me not to eat that sausage grinder at...12:34 AM.Con: My large bed

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-24524753542783585482008-03-15T19:55:00.004-04:002008-03-16T17:30:47.016-04:00

Been obsessing over Rilo Kiley alot recently. Can't... stop... listening.They are just so fucking awesome. And absolutely NOBODY I know listens to them,So I'm like a pariah. I have to go into the corner and listen to them quietly,while everyone else listens to their "good" music.Kanye West, 50 Cent, Black Eyed Peas, Alicia Keys.You know, the classics.So, to appease me, and only me, I present my

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-41487889524262096822008-03-15T14:02:00.002-04:002008-03-15T14:10:35.692-04:00

Top ten reasons I hate cats.10. Those sandpaper tongues. 9. They are scratch whores. No mater how long you scratch them, they feel slighted if you stop. Whores.8. They can never just sit down. They must knead their spot like bread dough. It's very disconcerting.7. Hairballs6. They sleep 18 hours a god damn day. (maybe that's just jealousy.)5. The song Memory. (wait. that's my list of reasons I

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-25426516021511845702008-03-13T18:36:00.002-04:002008-03-15T14:02:24.543-04:00

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-57113221001774988252008-03-13T18:28:00.002-04:002008-03-13T18:33:11.242-04:00

Top ten words that make me giggle because they sound dirty, but aren't. 10. titillate9. homeowner8. hoedown7. himalaya6. asteroid5. dictation4. oral3. dickie2. shitakeand the number one word that makes me giggle because it sounds dirty, but isn't:cockswain.cockswain. hehe.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-66335558685843859602008-03-13T09:08:00.003-04:002008-03-13T09:53:49.368-04:00

Okay. I don't care if anyone likes this. It amuses me. And right now, it's the only thing I seem to be able to write. So, once again, here's another Top Ten List.The Top Ten reasons that I think I am a woman.Number 10: I LOVE shoes.Number 9: When I encounter a mouse, my first instinct is to jump on a chair and shriek as loud as I can. Number 8: Once a month, for three days, I act like a total

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-47907345713744653712008-03-13T09:04:00.002-04:002008-03-13T09:08:17.027-04:00

Well, he's started the Fight Club again. Little bastard. Have a little respect and attack me when I'm awake, is all I'm saying. Pussy. Pussy.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-87542404018191804422008-03-12T08:08:00.002-04:002008-03-12T08:23:41.279-04:00

I know I stole this from David Letterman. But I don't care. So, without further ado (was there any ado?)Here are the top ten reasons I fear I may be turning British.Number ten: I walk around with an undeserved sense of superiority.Number nine (number nine. number nine.): I hate the Irish.Number eight: I find myself more and more using words like whilst, pukka, and jim jams. Number seven: 90% of

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-71664091059591195712008-03-11T21:36:00.002-04:002008-03-11T21:56:52.962-04:00

Life's Gonna Suck (When You Grow Up)Wanna know a little more about me? Here goes...Bubblegum Schnapps!The Future of Earth

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-24545754496156285162008-03-10T18:30:00.005-04:002008-03-10T22:51:03.293-04:00

OK. This is my sister's sonagram. Other than being really weird looking, my new nephew bears a strange resemblance to a very famous work of art. Kinda creepy, isn't it?

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-23702567228619641272008-03-09T18:19:00.003-04:002008-03-09T18:36:00.835-04:00

What a schmuck I am. I was totally planning a Dr. Seuss post for this week. I was completely convinced that his birthday was Monday, March 10th. Well, if you haven't noticed by now, I'm a moron. His birthday was last week. So I suppose I'll have to do this beofer it gets too late, otherwise soon it will be too late even to be later. (I stole that line) So here it is. My favorite Dr. Seuss story.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-86724681490599670182008-03-09T17:48:00.002-04:002008-03-09T17:55:35.247-04:00

I love getting carded at the liquor store. It's a good sign. It means that there is a possibility that I am not as old as I feel. And it means I've been taking better care of myself than I thought, if someone thinks I may be under 21. And in this case, I was only buying cigarettes. So they thought I might be under 18! Honestly, I think the girl at the counter just wanted to see how old I was.

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-7723097584853336512008-03-09T12:29:00.003-04:002008-03-09T15:47:30.075-04:00

Oh, what an eventful day yesterday was. Spent it playing with my nieces. And while it's fun spending time with them, I tend to try and amuse myself by... well basically lying to them and trying to convince them that ridiculously untrue things are, in fact, true. Like I had them convinced that when I made them waffles for breakfast, my secret ingredient was blood. Human blood. And not just any

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-62214907326281572492008-03-07T18:23:00.000-05:002008-03-07T18:24:15.372-05:00

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-59470427630013782222008-03-06T22:45:00.003-05:002008-03-06T22:47:41.062-05:00

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-75691349939125992292008-03-04T13:25:00.003-05:002008-03-04T14:31:34.575-05:00

Got caught today. Doing what? Oh, nothing. Seriously. Nothing at all. OK, but you have to promise you won't say anything to anyone... and I mean a-ny-one! No, you have to promise first. That's not good enough. Repeat after me: I, state your name, (And don't pull the old saying "state your name" bullshit. Just say your name.) hereby promise to never utter a solitary word of what I am about to

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-36940476202867912962008-03-03T13:26:00.003-05:002008-03-03T18:32:51.358-05:00

So the meathead and I just got done taking a walk. And I noticed something that disturbed me. It was a normal walk. We took our usual route, about 2 miles. Any more and I start to hyperventilate (I'm woefully out of shape). So a few minutes into it, I noticed something on the ground. Well, Floyd noticed it. He was up ahead, and started sniffing the shit out of some trash on the ground. As I

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-40530720470921059882008-02-28T17:06:00.003-05:002008-02-28T17:39:04.233-05:00

I am writing this from my deathbed.Well, that's not true.But it's almost true.I suppose this is my penance.My penance for doing a good deed.This is what happens when you think of someone...other than yourself.Well, that's the last time.From now on, it's all about Adam.No more acting out of kindness.No more putting myself out for others.In my experience,It brings you only one of two things.Either

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-9118286799609662492008-02-27T15:17:00.003-05:002008-02-27T15:52:39.475-05:00

There he sits.Perched upon the back of my couch.Deftly balancing himself,With his head poking through the blinds of the window above him.There he stands, As if he were a sentinel of some kind.An ancient Roman Centurian,Guarding... Well, whatever the hell Roman Centurians guarded...Salt, maybe?It's a good thing he's there, though. Who else but he can protect me from the evil that is the mailman?Or

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1692539150740187556.post-72175656331864012082008-02-26T18:18:00.000-05:002008-02-26T18:20:03.694-05:00

I wait all day for 10 minutes.Let me clarify.All day long, I am thinking about 10 specific minutes.Which 10? Those 10 right before you fall asleep.It's so much fun.What weird shit is my brain going to come up with tonight?It's like an acid trip without the groggy after effects.(And you can actually go to sleep! Unlike on acid.)Am I alone here?Am I the only one who has these weird visions before I

Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11387894739093716323noreply@blogger.com2