hold the phone

i have hit a creative wall.
my sense of what is good and interesting,
well, it's no longer there.
there is no rhyme or reason to it.
there is just no conflict to resolve.
i thrive on conflict.
tension.
drama.
something that puts a situation on tilt.

and i'm level. totally level.
and it fucking sucks.



i can't write.
that is not to say i don't have time to write.
or that i don't have the physical ability to write.
i.... can't..... write.
it just won't come out.

god knows that i have millions of stories in my head.
they're all bouncing around like...
i can't even come up with a good simile, for christ's sake.
bouncing around like.....

fuck.






so i've been watching these totally terrible movies recently.
the titles aren't important.
(mainly because i fear ridicule for it.)
and they have been pissing me off.
they are all the fucking same.
two beautiful people are looking for love,
only they are too blind (or stupid) to see that....
GASP! they are the loves of each other's lives.
what a fucking surprise.

just once, i'd like to see the awkward, socially inept
and moderately funny (but conventionally unattractive) guy
get the chick.
and she doesn't even have to be a fucking supermodel.
she should be smart.
funny.
perhaps a little awkward herself, but with redeeming charm.
her looks are totally inconsequential.
i just want to see something where two people who aren't
fucking runway models get together.
where something vaguely approaching a real life scenario is
the storyline.

there just isn't anything out there for normal people.
for people who maybe have a receding hairline.
for people who are maybe a little self conscious about their body.
for people who are not exhibitionists.
for people who drive a beat up ford thunderbird.
for people who live in a stupid tiny town that they fear is crushing their will to live.
for people who just want someone to appreciate them for who they are,
and not have to be criticized and judged by every person they meet.

where are these stories?
where the fuck are they?


do i have to write it myself?













fuck it.
maybe i will.