Saturday, March 15, 2008

meow meow meow meow

Top ten reasons I hate cats.

10. Those sandpaper tongues.
9. They are scratch whores. No mater how long you scratch them, they feel slighted if you stop. Whores.
8. They can never just sit down. They must knead their spot like bread dough. It's very disconcerting.
7. Hairballs
6. They sleep 18 hours a god damn day. (maybe that's just jealousy.)
5. The song Memory. (wait. that's my list of reasons I hate the musical Cats.)
4. They have the same look on their face if they see a shadow on the floor or a serial killer in the kitchen.
3. Litter boxes
2. They think they're better than everyone else.

And the numebr one reason I hate cats:
1. There's nothing better than stepping in a pile of cat vomit at 2 in the morning. Barefoot.

Next time: Things that make me want to vomit!

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