Here is an incomplete list of some of the things I found while cleaning my basement.
Hockey stick- Whaaaa? Anyone who knows me knows I am utterly uncoordinated. So hockey was never really my sport of choice. But how did I come into possession of a stick? Good question. I was a drug abuser years ago, and also a big fan of flea markets. A dangerous combination.
Copy of Ferris Bueller's Day Off... on Beta- Beta? WTF? What is this, 1985?
Lava lamp and black light bulb- Far out. I wish I could find my poster with all the mushrooms and pot leaves. Trippy shit, man.
Copy of Edgar Allan Poe's Complete Works- Awww, sweet!
Gold Bond Medicated Foot Cream- And you thought I didn't know how to party anymore. Shows what you know.
Acoustic Guitar- One whole year of lessons, and I can play the first three bars of The Troggs Wild Thing. Money (and obviously time) well spent.
Videotapes of my acting days- You mean I have a copy of "The Great Cowtown Bank Robbery" of my very own? Damn, I was a great narrator. And seriously, I found my copy of me as Bottom in "A Midsummer Night's Dream". I would have killed to play Puck. Man, I would have been so awesome. Not that I'm bitter about it (anymore).
Flannel bathrobe- I was an old man even at 20.
Three seperate vacuum cleaners, all broken- Obviously I have the inability to throw anything out, ever. Who knows when I may need one of the attachments from one of those things?
My copy of Nation of Nations- This was my AP History book from my senior year in high school. I "lost" it and had to pay $68 in order to get my diploma. You think I might be able to return it and get my 68 bucks back?
Two Norman Rockwell prints, and a painting of a dead tree- Obviously I have impeccable taste in Art. I fear these may also be a byproduct of stoned flea market trips. However, all three pieces are now currently hanging in my bedroom.
A set of 20 pound dumbells and a set of 50 pound dumbells- OK, I get the 20's. But the 50's? What am I? Schwarzenegger? I had trouble even moving them into a corner I'm so feeble.
Countless T-Shirts I thought I had lost forever or had been pilfered by friends and family- Oh, dude, my "Where's the Beef" T-shirt with the arrow pointing toward my crotch. Can you say "Wearing to my next job interview," children? I knew you could.
A complete collection of Frank Sinatra's films I had bought in High School during a pot induced mania- It's still a sweet buy, even if it was a little on the impetuous side. I mean, $140? And it's on VHS! I don't even own a VCR anymore.
A VCR!- HUZZAH! Unfortunately, after hours of looking, no power cord. FUCK!
All in all, a pretty decent haul. And this was only a selection of the shit I found. I'm probably most excited about the foot cream. I got a corn that's just aching for that stuff. Does that make me sound old? I don't care.