Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Top Ten List

I know I stole this from David Letterman.
But I don't care.
So, without further ado (was there any ado?)
Here are the top ten reasons I fear I may be turning British.

Number ten: I walk around with an undeserved sense of superiority.

Number nine (number nine. number nine.): I hate the Irish.

Number eight: I find myself more and more using words like whilst, pukka, and jim jams.

Number seven: 90% of Americans make me want to colonize them and rule them iron-fisted-ly. (I like hyphens.)

Number six: I find Rowan Atkinson funny...... sometimes. (Funny thing is, I've been told British people don't even find Rowan Atkinson funny. Go figure.)

Number five: I consider Canada my bastard step-child.

Number four: I have an unusual appreciation for tea.

Number three: I have a tendency for using overtly grandiose language for the sole intention of making myself seem smarter.

Number two: I (secretly) hate America.

And the number one reason I fear I may be becoming British:

I mistakenly drank a warm beer.... And I loved it!

There. And I did it without making one bad teeth joke or commenting on their latent homosexuality.

Oops! Dammit.

Stay tuned for upcoming top ten lists, including why I think I am a woman, and why I hate cats. Riveting!

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