I know I stole this from David Letterman.
But I don't care.
So, without further ado (was there any ado?)
Here are the top ten reasons I fear I may be turning British.
Number ten: I walk around with an undeserved sense of superiority.
Number nine (number nine. number nine.): I hate the Irish.
Number eight: I find myself more and more using words like whilst, pukka, and jim jams.
Number seven: 90% of Americans make me want to colonize them and rule them iron-fisted-ly. (I like hyphens.)
Number six: I find Rowan Atkinson funny...... sometimes. (Funny thing is, I've been told British people don't even find Rowan Atkinson funny. Go figure.)
Number five: I consider Canada my bastard step-child.
Number four: I have an unusual appreciation for tea.
Number three: I have a tendency for using overtly grandiose language for the sole intention of making myself seem smarter.
Number two: I (secretly) hate America.
And the number one reason I fear I may be becoming British:
I mistakenly drank a warm beer.... And I loved it!
There. And I did it without making one bad teeth joke or commenting on their latent homosexuality.
Stay tuned for upcoming top ten lists, including why I think I am a woman, and why I hate cats. Riveting!