Thursday, April 10, 2008
Dog Day Afternoon
To Whom It May Concern:
Attention, all dog owners. I would like to express my wishes to you that you do not walk your dogs while Adam and I are walking. It is most distracting. How can I be expected to concentrate on where other dogs have defecated if I must constantly be pulling Adam from one side of the street to the other because you are there with your dog.
It would be most appreciated if you could keep your walking hours between 8AM and 3 PM, as before and after these hours are when I am out and about. And please don't bark at me if we do happen to pass on the street. It will only cause me to get upset, and I will then run at you. And Adam, having the world's fastest reflexes, will snap my leash and in the process, I will get choked out. It's not really as fun as it looks on Ultimate Fightng. So if we could just avoid that, I'd be grateful.
Oh, and neighborhood cats: I want to eat you. Well, maybe not eat you, but grab your neck and thrash it back and forth until your lifeless body hangs limp in my grinning maw. So, please, stay away. I am not interested in being put down, and you are a one way ticket to doggy heaven.
P.S. Knibb High Football rules!