Friday, June 6, 2008

Quietly sneaking back into the room...

I was strolling through the park one day, and it turns out, I missed the entire month of May. I did however avoid being taken by surprise by a pair of roguish eyes...

So I got that going for me. Which is nice.

Just decided to pop in and say hello. Hello. I do have a few things to say, but nothing of any importance. First, when and if you are ever unemployed, please, for the love of all things holy, please do not take the first job offered to you. Especially if said job is in a business you have no prior knowledge of (Yes, I'm ending a sentence with a preposition. What are you gonna do about it?). I have spent the better part of three decades avoiding fixing cars and learning about how they run... And now my chickens are coming home to roost. (That makes no sense. Wouldn't roosters come home to roost? Shouldn't chickens come home to... I don't know, chick?) Anyway, just take this tip from me. If you haven't already, choose a profession that you know a little something about. Otherwise you'll end up working 50 plus hours a week in order to more familiarize yourself with your inventory. Boy, am I glad I went to school for radio broadcasting.

Second, I have started smoking again. It was just too much. I was going insane with the job. And I needed something to make my head stop from spinning, and I couldn't get my hands on any black tar, so I sparked up a tobacco doobie. I'm simultaneously disappointed in myself and proud that I was able to go that long without them. Sure, it was only two months. But it was the longest two months of my life. Be glad I chose tobacco and not the alternatives. I am.

And finally, a big FUCK YOU to my "favorite band": Coldplay.Where the fuck do you get off? I mean seriously? Where do you get off? You may be wondering where the hell I'm going with this. Well, you stay the fuck out of this. This is between me and their pussy of a front man... Chris Martin. I am so pissed at what you've done to me. How could you possibly force me to actually enjoy your new song? You're a fucking monster.

Can I get some rock now to make me feel better?

Thank you.

It feels good to be blogging again. It may be a few weeks before I remember how to string together more than 3 sentences to form something other than this incoherent drivel get back into a groove. But I'm back. For good.

Are you as disappointed about that as I am?


Loralee Choate said...

I went 62.5 days with no Diet Coke and it was a LONG 62.5 days.

I agree, it is better than the alternatives.

Welcome back.

Sra said...

I was just starting to miss you.

Can you do me a favor? I wouldn't mind it if you decided to change your side bar so it wasn't red on blue. The contrast makes my eyes hurt. If it's not too much to ask.

Oh, and I picked up Haunted from the library, and I tried to listen to you when you said "don't read the first story!" but then I thought "how bad could it be?" It was bad. So bad I had to stop in the middle of it, the part where he's at the bottom of the pool, you know. You tried to warn us, I know. I wish I had listened.