Tuesday, January 22, 2008

You're killing me!

I'm sorry, guys.
I haven't been able to write anything worth reading recently.
All of this positive feedback has really lifted my spirits.
When I write, I need to be emotional.
I haven't written a word in my "novel" for over a week.
I'm just in too good of a mood.
And I always say,
The only time a writer should be happy,
is when he's dead.

I thrive on angst and tumult.
My lifeblood is depression and anxiety.
I have no other way.

So, if you guys could do me a big favor,
It would be greatly appreciated.
Could you tell me I suck?
Or that I have no talent.
Or tell me you don't love me anymore,
that always seems to work.
Tell me to give it up,
To just stop.
That I'm making a fool of myself.

Otherwise, you'll be stuck with me posting videos,
or even worse,
I will be forced to actually write while happy.
And I don't want to do that.
It scares me to think about it.
I can't do that, I'm not good enough to do it.
I would be an abject failure at it.

Whoa!
I'm starting to feel shitty again!
Fantastic! That makes me so happy!



Dammit.


Some more Jeff Buckley by request.
You see what I have to resort to?

oh, what the hell, one more.

11 comments:

Semi-Charmed said...

If one were to read back over my past posts, they would notice the good writing is directly related to how depressed I was at the time. The boring posts are when I was happy. It's true.
By the way, you suck.

Girl Interrupted said...

It's about time you wrote something today. It's a rather slow day around here today. Entertain me! Just kidding. I may have to get my mean coworker to start posting over here, maybe that will help you out.
I know what you mean, I used to write alot and it came out better when I was feeling down or pissy but once in a while I could pull something off when I was in a good mood. I killed off the writer in me, tragic I know but it had to be done.
We don't want to kill off your writer so get sad dammit! A bottle of that Jonnie Walker Blue and some sad songs ought to do it.
C

Adam said...

i'm not feeling the hate.

would it help if i ridiculed you guys a little?

Girl Interrupted said...

Sure, go for it, we can take it! What ya got?

Adam said...

ok, you called my bluff. you guys are great.

Girl Interrupted said...

ha ha is that all you got? Ok, we like you too. It's time to go home, have a great evening.
C

Whimsicalsun said...

Hahaha...this probably will kill you, but, you made me smile with this post.
It was an horrible day, and this is my first smile of the day...and probably the last too.

I'm sorry...haha.
But I know what you mean about writing.
"Here in the darkness I know myself..."


Oh oh oh...ok.
You can't speak spanish!
Shame on you!
You told me sweet words when you said goodbye in the last post, and thank you for that, but in the first attempt you said something really weird...you said "I'm very dumb" (here, that's is like you can't speak at all...so the 'very' can't be in that sentence).
I thought that you maybe wanted to say "I'm too shy"?
That's "Soy muy tímido".

See? I'm a loser because I'm trying to teach you something that you don't need to know.

I'm sure that I beat you with the loser thing...I'm sad, I'm pathetic, I'm ugly, I'm a lonely person, I'm a freak!.
But you maybe could take the second prize.
That's not too bad, don't you think?
Second loser.





I'm sorry...I can't help you :(
I can' tell "You suck"...that's too cruel...even for me.
But if you post a picture of your president, I'll post "You suck".
Hahaha.

Maybe you can post your dreams...dreams are weird. Unless you don't remember your dreams...or that your dreams are actually happys.
So...post your nightmares!



Be fine Adam...have a nice day.


Xoxo.
Sol.

Girl Interrupted said...

Feeling any worse today? Well maybe this will give you a stretch that you needed. It's always good to expand and evolve and all that right?
I started reading this when you first started posting on this side and it did sound a little sad but even then you posted that you were starting to come out of it.

Sorry we helped, just kidding, no I'm not!

Oh, I hate that word verification thing, if I didn't know I was me, I wouldn't be here.

C

Adam said...

turns out, i don't need you guys to do anything. i knew it was only a matter of time before i slipped.

who needs other people to make you feel like shit, when you can do it yourself?

sol, i'd like to say there is no bigger loser than me. i don't care what you say.

i'm going to go into hiding for tonight. no new posts, unless something extraordinary comes out of my pen. but i doubt it. maybe tomorrow. i'm too busy feeling sorry for myself.

hooray!

adam

Girl Interrupted said...

I hope tomorrow is a better day. Take the day off if you would like ;).

C

Adam said...

i guess i was lying.