- If I could, I'd eat Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast, lunch and dinner. For a midnight snack: grapefruit.
- I have twin sister. On several occasions, I have been asked whether or not we are IDENTICAL!
- I am a pretty damn good golfer. I was Club Champion at the age of 18. Is that record? I like to think so. But probably not.
- At age 21, I spent weeks considering whether or not I should become a priest. Decided, finally, to do it. However, I reconsidered upon remembering that I am an Atheist, and that the seminary may frown upon that.
- I tell everyone that I scored a 1200 on my SATs. I really got an 1160. 1200 just sounds so much smarter. (For edification, 690 verbal, 470 math. I have basic computation skills, but those god damn trigonometric functions just killed me.)
- I have attempted to kill myself no less than 3 times. (From heights: twice, pills, and pills + alcohol. Ok, no less than 4 times.)
- As of right now, I don't think I ever want to have children. I have
way too manya lot of nieces and nephews, and they arenightmareswonderful. But being directly responsible for people's lives that aren't mine? Not really a dream for me right now. (Also, I would never wish to pass on any of my... less desirable genetic predispositions.) - I once thaought I had stigmata. Turns out I just had really dry skin.
- I am, in fact, a drug addict. I have been clean for almost 2 months now. And other than the one slip up in early February, I have been clean for almost two years. But I am an addict. Not a former addict. You are never a former addict. It's a physical and mental impossiblity. You are only a former addict when you are dead.
- Ther is one thing about me that is more deplorable than any thing else I have told you. It is so despicable, I am ashamed to even mention it to this very day, for fear of admonition from and degradation by, my peers. It was the year 2000. I was 19. I was young and naive and not yet versed in the ways of the world. I couldn't see through the lies and the bullshit being force fed to me. I chalk it up to my not having a stable father figure as a child, therefore causing untold damage to my sense of right and wrong. What is this thing I speak of? Oh, I can't even utter it. OK, here it is. I voted for George Bush. I know. I know.
Trust me, I'm more disappointed in myself than you are shocked. If I had to do it over again, I would have voted for Nader. I just hate Al Gore so much.
3 comments:
But, did you vote for him the second time?
If you hadn't voted for Bush, where would we be now?... Alright, in the exact same place.
(Besides, I secretly believe both elections were fixed.)
But at least you are ashamed now. I just don't understand the people still driving around proudly displaying their W04 bumper stickers.
Really, a priest? Really? I mean, really? Why?
joe: oh, fuck no! i'm not a sadist? or am i? sra? no, i voted for kerry. mainly because he was just so dynamic.
sra: {hangs head drearily} so very ashamed.
about the priest thing, i was at an existential crossroads in my life. i was unsure about my purpose. and i thought that maybe if i had some direction, if i was working towards a point, then maybe i could derive some happiness out of this all too confusing, constantly disappointing, and perpetually unfulfilling existence we laughingly refer to as "living". and i was genuinely interested in helping the less fortunate, and the priesthood seemed like a better option than the peace corps.
but then i just sparked up another joint and blew a few more lines, and all of those feelings just went away.
riiiiight.
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