Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Better know a Blogger

A variation on my not so well received Top Ten lists from a few weeks ago, here are ten things you couldn't possibly have known about me.

  1. If I could, I'd eat Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast, lunch and dinner. For a midnight snack: grapefruit.
  2. I have twin sister. On several occasions, I have been asked whether or not we are IDENTICAL!
  3. I am a pretty damn good golfer. I was Club Champion at the age of 18. Is that record? I like to think so. But probably not.
  4. At age 21, I spent weeks considering whether or not I should become a priest. Decided, finally, to do it. However, I reconsidered upon remembering that I am an Atheist, and that the seminary may frown upon that.
  5. I tell everyone that I scored a 1200 on my SATs. I really got an 1160. 1200 just sounds so much smarter. (For edification, 690 verbal, 470 math. I have basic computation skills, but those god damn trigonometric functions just killed me.)
  6. I have attempted to kill myself no less than 3 times. (From heights: twice, pills, and pills + alcohol. Ok, no less than 4 times.)
  7. As of right now, I don't think I ever want to have children. I have way too many a lot of nieces and nephews, and they are nightmares wonderful. But being directly responsible for people's lives that aren't mine? Not really a dream for me right now. (Also, I would never wish to pass on any of my... less desirable genetic predispositions.)
  8. I once thaought I had stigmata. Turns out I just had really dry skin.
  9. I am, in fact, a drug addict. I have been clean for almost 2 months now. And other than the one slip up in early February, I have been clean for almost two years. But I am an addict. Not a former addict. You are never a former addict. It's a physical and mental impossiblity. You are only a former addict when you are dead.
  10. Ther is one thing about me that is more deplorable than any thing else I have told you. It is so despicable, I am ashamed to even mention it to this very day, for fear of admonition from and degradation by, my peers. It was the year 2000. I was 19. I was young and naive and not yet versed in the ways of the world. I couldn't see through the lies and the bullshit being force fed to me. I chalk it up to my not having a stable father figure as a child, therefore causing untold damage to my sense of right and wrong. What is this thing I speak of? Oh, I can't even utter it. OK, here it is. I voted for George Bush. I know. I know.

Trust me, I'm more disappointed in myself than you are shocked. If I had to do it over again, I would have voted for Nader. I just hate Al Gore so much.


JoeInVegas said...

But, did you vote for him the second time?

Sra said...

If you hadn't voted for Bush, where would we be now?... Alright, in the exact same place.

(Besides, I secretly believe both elections were fixed.)

But at least you are ashamed now. I just don't understand the people still driving around proudly displaying their W04 bumper stickers.

Really, a priest? Really? I mean, really? Why?

Adam said...

joe: oh, fuck no! i'm not a sadist? or am i? sra? no, i voted for kerry. mainly because he was just so dynamic.

sra: {hangs head drearily} so very ashamed.

about the priest thing, i was at an existential crossroads in my life. i was unsure about my purpose. and i thought that maybe if i had some direction, if i was working towards a point, then maybe i could derive some happiness out of this all too confusing, constantly disappointing, and perpetually unfulfilling existence we laughingly refer to as "living". and i was genuinely interested in helping the less fortunate, and the priesthood seemed like a better option than the peace corps.

but then i just sparked up another joint and blew a few more lines, and all of those feelings just went away.