Well, thanks to Paul Revere*,
I am not working today.
I was fully expecting to be at work this morning.
But I'm not.
Instead, I'm watering my lawn,
And clearing more brush,
And stockpiling generic blog posts,
For when I don't feel like writing when I am working.
But Paul Revere decided that yesterday
(Well, not yesterday yesterday)
Would be a good day to start the American Revolution.
Well, he didn't start it.
The British did.
Well, the British didn't really,
American Colonists did.
Well, not so much them,
As it was the salutary neglect exhibited by a hundred years
Of British Monarchs.
You know, I could take this all the way back to Imperial Rome,
But I'm not going to.
Yesterday was Patriot's Day.
I don't imagine it's a big deal wherever you are,
Especially my foreign readers,
And most especially my British readers
(It's still a sore subject across the pond).
But here, in Massachusetts,
The cradle of Democracy
(Fuck you Philadelphia. And Ancient Greece.),
It's a big deal.
We have Revolutionary War re-enactments of the first battle,
At Lexington and Concord,
And all sorts of other BS.
Like the Boston Marathon.
And the Red Sox playing at 10 in the morning.
We Mass-Holes are proud of our heritage.
We like to point out to anyone and everyone,
That if we hadn't existed,
We would all be speaking with effeminate British accents
And drinking tea.
And although I do drink tea,
It's not because I'm a loyalist.
No, no, I am most certainly not loyal to King George,
The tyrannical madman.
I just enjoy tea.
What was my point?
Oh, yes, my job.
Well, apparently, Patriot's Day is a really big deal.
The place that did my drug test was not open.
So it couldn't relay my results to the home office in Schenectady.
And that means that I am, for another day at least,
And it is nice.
I like having a little reprieve.
But I would much rather be at work being paid not to work.
Here, I'm just not working.
And it's fun, but I'm certainly not getting paid.
*Paul Revere was a pussy. Read this and expand your knowledge of the Revolution.