Wednesday, April 23, 2008


I've been seriously considering getting a tattoo recently. I've never really understood tattoos. Why would you willingly desecrate your own body? And they are usually impulsive choices people get. Why would a grown man want a tattoo of Toucan Sam riding a motorcycle?

But I've thought about it. I think I might be one of those people who could get a tattoo. Not anything stupid. No cartoon characters. I won't put a girl's name on it, because with my luck, she'd either change her name or dump me immediately, so it would be useless.

No, I want something practical. Some of my considerations:

The Boston "B". I love the Red Sox, and they would never break up with me. At least I don't think they would. Maybe I should hedge my bets and not pick this one, just in case.

I could go the utilitarian route. Have a shopping list tattooed on my arm: milk, bread, asparagus, Jergen's triple action moisturizing hand cream. You know, the essentials. Nothing I don't buy every time I go to the market. Just a friendly reminder, emblazoned on my forearm (A MASSIVE forearm, btw. See number 4 on the list) just saying, "Hey, you need these things." I'm seriously considering this.

Perhaps a famous work of art? Like the Last Supper on my chest. Or the Thinker on my left ass cheek. Why left? Because the right would seem pretentious. Or maybe American Gothic on my back. That would be sweet! Not likely to go in this direction, as I presume it would be a mite expensive.

Honestly, these are the only ideas I've had, and I'm not totally in love with any of them. Anybody have any suggestions?


hollibobolli said...

Well, coming from the girl who literally has the cast of Winnie the Pooh splayed across her ass (that is the one I REALLY regret, a decision made in a drunken teenage spree) I'm not sure if I'm the best or worst person to ask. I have one tattoo I really love, one I really like and one I really hate. None of them are obnoxiously visible unless I remove copious amounts of clothing. I would like to get something now that I care deeply about - which I think shows it's a really good idea to wait until you're out of your early 20's to permanently deface your skin.

I came here by way of the lovely Loralee.

Sra said...

I also used to be one of those people who doesn't get tattoos, but now I have one that I love. I used to say, what's the point? It may be cool when you're young, but when you're old and wrinkly it will look stupid. Well, then I realized that, guess what? there ain't nothing' you can do to not look bad when you're old, so it doesn't matter anyway.

But I strongly recommend finding a tatt that is very meaningful to you so that it will be more likely that you won't regret the decision at some point.

My tatt is the scales of justice, which is mostly an homage to my grandfather, who was a judge, but I also like how the symbol represents balance and reason, and I love the symmetry of the design.

So find something that is special to you. I think the shopping list idea is hilarious, but I think for your first tatt, you might want to try something else :)

And a suggestion: Don't put a tatt on your chest. It's a personal preference, so you may disagree, but I think that chests ought to remain undesecrated. Back tatts are hot, though.

And, yeah, don't get one whilst drunk. Or you might end up with pooh on your ass.

Loralee Choate said...

I didn't know that about Miss Holli's ass. Hee hee hee

I never, EVER thought I would get a tattoo. When I was younger it was because I was judgmental, when I was older, I just never thought I would find anything that would be meaningful enough that I could ink it on my body for all time.

When my son died (Little bug)I took the lady bug image we had etched on his headstone and I put it on my tummy.

I love it.

If you pick something extremely personal and memorable, I don't think you will regret it.

Semi-Charmed said...

A black and gray portrait of Floyd on your calf. Definitely.

Adam said...

Thanks for the input guys. Man, I've been terrible at responding to comments recently. I'm sorry.

I still have no idea what I'm going to get. But I imagine Floyd might have something to do with it. He is going to be leaving me soon, and I'm gonna miss him when he's down in Florida soaking up the sun, and I'm still stuck up here in hell, erm, Massachusetts.